Delivery Of League MVP Trophy To Peyton Manning Described As “Kind Of Awkward”
DENVER – Local deliveryman Scott Hampton dropped off the Associated Press official 2013 NFL league MVP trophy to Broncos QB Peyton Manning’s home earlier today, and described the experience as, “kind of awkward, and super uncomfortable,” according to local sources.
“Mr. Manning? I’m here from Speedy Courier Services,” said Hampton, 26, as the unshaven, sullen-looking Manning opened his front door. “I’m supposed to give you this trophy from the NFL. Because of the, you know, great year you had? I have to admit, I don’t really follow football, but I guess you must have had a heck of a season to get a big ol’ award like this, huh?”
According to eyewitnesses Manning merely stared at Hampton for what was described as, “twenty of the most tension filled seconds you can possibly imagine.”
“There’s, um, a card that comes with it,” said Hampton, attempting to break the awkward silence. “It says, ‘Peyton, congratulations on your magnificent year. People will remember your 2013 season forever. Good luck in the Super Bowl. We’re sure you’re going to have a terrific game.’”
Added Hampton, “This should’ve been delivered on Saturday, obviously. I apologize for the delay.”
According to reports, Manning stood motionless and continued to stare at Hampton with “murder in his eyes,” until the deliveryman finally placed the trophy gently down on the porch next to the QB’s slippered feet, saying, “You know what? I’ll just leave this here. You can bring it inside whenever you’re ready.”
Hampton walked away as Manning remained on the front steps, before turning to add, “Oh hey, for what it’s worth, my cousin said he won a hundred dollars betting on the Super Bowl. He lives in the state of Washington somewhere, but I guess maybe he’s a Broncos fan, ’cause Sunday night he tweeted that he made ‘the easiest hundred bucks of his life thanks to Peyton Manning.’ So I’m sure he’d want me to thank you on his behalf. Anyway, that trophy sure is a beauty. Hope you enjoy it.”