Delivery Of League MVP Trophy To Peyton Manning Described As “Kind Of Awkward”

By
Updated: February 4, 2014

DENVER – Local deliveryman Scott Hampton dropped off the Associated Press official 2013 NFL league MVP trophy to Broncos QB Peyton Manning’s home earlier today, and described the experience as, “kind of awkward, and super uncomfortable,” according to local sources.

PEYTON MANNING GETS MVP TROPHY NARROW

 

“Mr. Manning? I’m here from Speedy Courier Services,” said Hampton, 26, as the unshaven, sullen-looking Manning opened his front door. “I’m supposed to give you this trophy from the NFL. Because of the, you know, great year you had? I have to admit, I don’t really follow football, but I guess you must have had a heck of a season to get a big ol’ award like this, huh?”

 

According to eyewitnesses Manning merely stared at Hampton for what was described as, “twenty of the most tension filled seconds you can possibly imagine.”

 

“There’s, um, a card that comes with it,” said Hampton, attempting to break the awkward silence. “It says, ‘Peyton, congratulations on your magnificent year. People will remember your 2013 season forever. Good luck in the Super Bowl. We’re sure you’re going to have a terrific game.’”

 

Added Hampton, “This should’ve been delivered on Saturday, obviously. I apologize for the delay.”

 

According to reports, Manning stood motionless and continued to stare at Hampton with “murder in his eyes,” until the deliveryman finally placed the trophy gently down on the porch next to the QB’s slippered feet, saying, “You know what? I’ll just leave this here. You can bring it inside whenever you’re ready.”

 

Hampton walked away as Manning remained on the front steps, before turning to add, “Oh hey, for what it’s worth, my cousin said he won a hundred dollars betting on the Super Bowl. He lives in the state of Washington somewhere, but I guess maybe he’s a Broncos fan, ’cause Sunday night he tweeted that he made ‘the easiest hundred bucks of his life thanks to Peyton Manning.’ So I’m sure he’d want me to thank you on his behalf. Anyway, that trophy sure is a beauty. Hope you enjoy it.”

Leave a Reply

101 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    May 9, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Because Manny Ramirez snaps footballs when he shouldn’t you see?!?

  2. Manny Ramirez

    March 13, 2014 at 11:45 am

    *Snaps Ball*

  3. Kase Keenum

    March 10, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    *throws pick 6*

  4. Philip Rivers

    February 25, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Joe Flacco? The non-elite Ravens quarterback?

  5. Joe Flacco

    February 20, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Lets compare superbowl wins

  6. Kase Keenum

    February 20, 2014 at 3:48 am

    We can compare interceptions to Flaco

  7. Joe Flacco

    February 13, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Lets compate salary then Talk about whos elite

  8. Kase Keenum

    February 12, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    Bullonparade!

  9. Kase Keenum

    February 12, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Fuck those ugly retarded cats at least these bulls can get 1st draft pick! Even if I get replaced I’ll still will be more elite than joe flaccocks

  10. Anonymous

    February 12, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    Ha ha! Jaguar fans (all 3 of them) are the only people who enjoy the offseason. There’s nothing that can disappoint them during that time.

  11. Blaine Gabbert

    February 12, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Well you can all go fuck yourselves, because unlike the so-called “big shots” of the NFL like the Broncos, 49ers and Patriots, MY JAGUARS ARE UNDEFEATED FOR ALL OF 2014!

  12. Darth Anonymous

    February 12, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    Flacco you had one job that year and it was to keep Bill Belichick from winning another Super Bowl. In return I convinced the league to grant you the Super Bowl MVP instead of Jacoby Jones who earned it more. If Elisha Manning is not elite for defeating him twice what makes you think you will be given that status?

    Matt Ryan, you too will never be elite. That one playoff win courtesy of Pete Carroll is the highest honor you will ever receive. Now enjoy spending the rest of your sad life hiding from Tony Gonzalez.

  13. Joe Flacco

    February 12, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Fuck you ryan i am elite i won a god damm super bowl this was only the first yesr i missed the playoffs i am elite

  14. Matt Ryan

    February 12, 2014 at 10:19 am

    That trophy will be mine next year cause I am almost elite! Unlike Flacco who will never be elite.

  15. Kase Keenum

    February 12, 2014 at 9:55 am

    You guys wait my texans going to rape all your teams as bad as Big Ben raping Bradford with a 20 foot in diameter poisonous dildo and then switch off

  16. Jared Lorenzen

    February 12, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Wilfork we must unite as the fastest men in football. Meeting is a golden corrals all you can eat chocolate waterfall.

  17. Ben Daterapistburger

    February 11, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Because Tom Brady is Giselle’s bitch

  18. Vince Wilfork

    February 11, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Shut up Mr. Bundchen.

  19. Tom Brady

    February 11, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    Wow Ben, I didn’t know you were THAT stupid.

  20. Ben Daterapistburger

    February 11, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    SEE? BECAUSE MATT HASSELBECK LOST SUPERBOWL XL. REMEMBER??? I FORGOT WHICH TEAM BEAT HIM THOUGH.

  21. Russell Wilson

    February 11, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    He does it better, just like Hasselbeck in Superbowl XL you see.

  22. Ben Daterapistburger

    February 11, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Because I explain jokes a lot you see

  23. Ben Daterapistburger

    February 11, 2014 at 11:13 am

    DAMMIT ANONYMOUS I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT

  24. Anonymous

    February 11, 2014 at 9:05 am

    Because Jack Bauer says “Dammit” a lot you see.

  25. Jack Bauer

    February 11, 2014 at 7:46 am

    I’m warning you Elisha, STOP USING MY CATCHPHRASE DAMMIT!

  26. Republic of Mexico 2040

    February 10, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    Que viva MEXICO

  27. Elisha

    February 10, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    I was waiting to see how long it took for you to realize that.

    Wait… DAMMIT!

    Just remember I have 2 rings and you have only one. HAHAHAH Nyah Nyah Nyah

  28. Eli's Big Sister

    February 10, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    hehehehehe Roethlisberger is too dumb to realize I changed his name to “Ben the Rapist”

    wait… ELISHA!!!!!!!111

  29. Ben the Rapist

    February 10, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    SEE, BECAUSE THE 13TH DOCTOR IS AARON RODGERS!!!

  30. The 13th Doctor

    February 10, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    WILSON I WILL SMASH YO – poof!

  31. Sam Bradford

    February 10, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    ooh Tom Brady’s ex wife, what about me?

  32. Russell Wilson

    February 10, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    I’m In.

  33. Giselle bunchden

    February 10, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    Hey guys I’m getting revenge on tom for cheating on me by having sex with other qb anybody in

  34. Andy dalton

    February 10, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    Barf

  35. Sam Bradford

    February 10, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    You now what they say about abominations. It’s when you have sex with your redneck cousins wife/sister and you eat her camo vagina while rednecks masturbate to your hairy small dick and her mother makes a pie in Jay Cutlers vagina.

  36. Tom Brady

    February 10, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Fuck you and that hideous abomination on your face, Brees

  37. Drew Brees

    February 10, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Really rivers your now introducing people you don’t event know

  38. Philip Rivers

    February 10, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Anonymous? The nameless, faceless reader of materials on this website?

  39. Joe flacon

    February 10, 2014 at 11:45 am

    People should want to impersonate elite qb’s like me

  40. Anonymous

    February 10, 2014 at 7:29 am

    Because Ben Roethlisberger is the most popular quarterback on Profootballmock.com to impersonate you see.

  41. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 9, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    Because geno smith is a terrible quarterback you see

  42. @MatthewStafford

    February 9, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    #GenoSmithsucks

  43. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 9, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    BECAUSE GENO SMITH GOT KICKED OFF A VIRGIN AIRLINES FLIGHT, YOU SEE!!!

  44. Geno Smith

    February 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Ha! Tannehill’s been clock whipped by his Dolphette of a wife. Hey Lauren! How’s about you and I not go Virgin on the Atlantic?

  45. Ryan Tannehill

    February 9, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    *Sigh* Yes, dear.

  46. Lauren tannehill

    February 9, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Yah and maybe I’ll finally get that modeling job fuck you Ryan I need a new man a real qb

  47. Colin Kaepernick

    February 9, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    It’s all about the AFC East GO DOLPHINS!

  48. Jim Harbaugh

    February 9, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    WILSON, I WILL CRY INTENTIONAL GROUNDING EVERY TIME YOU THROW AN INCOMPLETE PASS!

  49. Carson Palmer

    February 9, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    WILSON, I WILL MAKE SURE ONE OF MY INTERCEPTIONS HIT YOU IN THE EYES!

  50. Sam Bradford

    February 9, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    WILSON, I WILL I TRAP YOU IN A BATHROOM WITH ROETHLISBERGER AND MYSELF!

  51. Russell Wilson

    February 9, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    A word that people use to describe the way the rest of the NFC West plays?

  52. Sam Bradford

    February 9, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    You know what they say about shit right?

  53. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 9, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    BECAUSE TONY ROMO IS SHIT, YOU SEE!!!

  54. Tom Brady

    February 9, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Tony if we wanted your opinion I would have wipede it from my ass

  55. Tony Romo

    February 9, 2014 at 9:13 am

    That little identity crisis you had definitely shows it.

  56. Drew Brees

    February 8, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    You sure about that RGIII? It sounds like your head may not be fine.

  57. Robert Griffin

    February 8, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    Hey guys. Dr. James Andrews says my knee should be fine by next week.

  58. RGIII

    February 8, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    Hey guys. Dr. James Andrews says my knee should be fine by next week.

  59. RG3

    February 8, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Hey guys. Dr. James Andrews says my knee should be fine by next week.

  60. Joe Flacco

    February 8, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  61. Anonymous

    February 7, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    It’s funny because both Dilfer and Flacco are non elite superbowl winning qbs of the ravens and both only won because of the amazing defenses

  62. Alex Smith

    February 7, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Blow me, Flacco.

  63. Joe Flacco

    February 7, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    Dilfer, when I need help from a shitty bus driver on a good team that relied on its defense to get into the playoffs, I’ll talk to Alex Smith, thank you very much.

  64. Trent Dilfer

    February 7, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Don’t worry Flacco they are just jealous of our success. I won a ring too as a Raven, but they never called me an elite qb but fuck the haters I AM ELITE! And so are you!

  65. Geno Smith

    February 7, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    Way to go Brady, you just woke up a giant sleeping sandy vagina.

  66. Joe Flacco

    February 7, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    FUCK YOU, BRADY! I AM ELITE! I HAVE A SUPER BOWL RING AND A MEGA CONTRACT (which may or may not be justified) WHICH SAYS THAT I AM ELITE!!! AND IN THE NFL TOO!!!

  67. Anonymous

    February 7, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Peyton you might have choked but I still love you cause you to the Broncos to the Superbowl something Tebow would have never done

  68. Tom Brady

    February 7, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Hey guys, let’s cut Flacco some slack okay? There are plenty of other non-elite quarterbacks in the league besides him. I mean, it can take years to earn an MVP of any kind. Just because Flacco has never gotten one doesn’t mean anything. He may never get one, and that’s okay!

  69. Phillip Rivers

    February 7, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Jared Lorenzen? The Pillsbury Throwboy?

  70. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 7, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE PERCY HARVIN IS A WR AND MARSHAWN LYNCH IS A RB YOU SEE

  71. Anonymous

    February 7, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Why you talking smack beast mode last time I check you only had 39 rush yards in the Superbowl. Even Harvin had more rush yards then you!

  72. Jared Lorenzen

    February 7, 2014 at 11:35 am

    The HEFTY LEFTY IS BACK(nom)YEAH THAT TROPHY IS MINE NEXT YEAR MR.MANNING DICK FACE

  73. Anonymous

    February 7, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Of course Flacco is elite. He’s one of the best QBs in the Arena Football League.

  74. Phillip Rivers

    February 7, 2014 at 8:42 am

    Joe Flacco? Totally not elite quarterback of the Baltimore Ravens?

  75. Joe Flacco

    February 7, 2014 at 7:13 am

    So Peyton, now that you. Got your ass handed to you by Seattle, am I now elite?

  76. Kase Keenum

    February 7, 2014 at 3:12 am

    Luck your such a douche nozzle

  77. Andrew Luck

    February 7, 2014 at 2:15 am

    Mr. manning? I can only imagine how tough of a loss that was for you, but I’d just like to say that I still respect and admire your game. I look forward to playing your Broncos next year!

  78. MARSHAWN LYNCH

    February 6, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    BEASTMODE HAS NO FEAR FOR PUNY PONNY GET ASS SLAPPED BY BEAST,ODE

  79. Cam Newton

    February 6, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Ooh, Ooh! “Thing that Donovan McNabb says when asked to work overtime?”

  80. Drew Brees

    February 6, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    PUKE!!

  81. Sam Bradford

    February 6, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    You know what they say.about receiving your MVP trophy only days after getting killed in the Super Bowl…. its like banging a fat brunette that hasnt shaved since Super Bowl XL or showered in 4 weeks all while watching Russell Wilson bang the girl of your dreams while he’s saying ” Maybe she’ll let you have sloppy seconds” but she doesn’t

  82. Anonymous

    February 6, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    Andy Dalton no soul ginger quarterback of the Cincinnati bengals who got their ass spanked by my San Diego super chargers

  83. Andy Dalton

    February 6, 2014 at 9:04 am

    Sam is the man. There are plenty of sleepless sheep in the St. Louis area.

  84. Sam Bradford

    February 6, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Clearly, you haven’t been paying attention to our convos, Tannehill. And you know what they say about not paying attention.

  85. Mathew Stafford

    February 6, 2014 at 8:50 am

    @Mattnorings check this out Peyton is gonna be so pissed

  86. Colin Kaepernick

    February 6, 2014 at 8:23 am

    Well, whatever. I guess it was a great season, even though we didn’t quite make the Super Bowl. We’re a young team, and I’m sure we’ll be back next season. GO DOLPHINS!

  87. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 6, 2014 at 6:56 am

    HE’S SAYING THAT SAM BRADFORD DOESN’T HAVE SEX AND HAS A SMALL PENIS

  88. Ryan Tannehill

    February 6, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Like you’d ever get to use it. Studies show that the biggest talkers about sex are the smallest doers.

  89. Sam Bradford

    February 5, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    That’s definitely going into my erotic foreplay manual.

  90. Peyton Manning

    February 5, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    WILSON, I WILL USE MY BATHROBE TIE AS A GAROTTE AND CHOKE YOU TO DEATH IN MY CAR WHILE MAKING YOU BELIEVE I’M DRIVING YOU TO THE AIRPORT!!!!

  91. Ben Roethlisberger

    February 5, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    BECAUSE PEYTON MANNING LOST IN THE SUPER BOWL YOU SEE.

  92. Garrett Stallins

    February 5, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    ^ Even in unrelated articles the comments are filled with references to the “Russell Wilson is a troll” gag.

    Even in satire, the Seahawks are perfect for marketing.

  93. Russell Wilson

    February 5, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    I see Cousin Scott sent my message.

  94. Anonymous

    February 5, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    I don’t believe a word of it.

  95. Trish

    February 5, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Well it’s a lot better than the Notice to Vacate Premise and Divorce papers Brady got.

  96. Trish

    February 5, 2014 at 10:57 am

    Fake Onion

  97. bobman2

    February 5, 2014 at 10:50 am

    I love Peyton, but damn this was funny.

  98. Anonymous

    February 5, 2014 at 10:09 am

    So funny!

  99. babar

    February 5, 2014 at 5:58 am

    I’m sure it’s just another troll by Wilson ;)

  100. Anonymous

    February 5, 2014 at 5:56 am

    That last line, oh God I’m dying XD

  101. Anonymous

    February 5, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Priceless.

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