Cooper Manning: “Guess What Dad? I Have A Career Too!”

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Updated: September 11, 2013

Hey Dad. How’s everything? No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just calling to say hi. Haven’t checked in with you for a while. What? No, no don’t put Mom on. I actually wanted to speak with you.

"You know what Dad? I'VE never thrown an INT to Tracy Porter to lose a Super Bowl, unlike SOME people."

 

Well, because I thought you might want to hear about this new business deal I closed this week and … no, I missed the Broncos game last Thursday. Because I was having dinner with the president of this company we’re acquiring, that’s why. No, it IS important Dad. They’re one of the Southeast’s leading manufacturers of…

 

Yes, I saw the highlights. Seven touchdowns, I know. But listen, this company we’re acquiring? It’s actually kind of a big deal for us. The stock implications alone are…

 

What? Um, yeah I did catch part of the Giants-Cowboys game. I don’t know, I guess the first five minutes of the second half? Because I was busy reviewing some last minute numbers for our Monday meeting, that’s why. Yes, okay Dad, I know Eli had over 450 yards passing, But listen, I’m trying to tell you that I just closed one of the biggest deals of my career and…

 

Okay Dad, okay, I get it. Peyton and Eli are playing against each other this Sunday. It only happens every few years, I know Dad, you’ve told me that like a thousand times. But this company we acquired was a once-in-a-lifetime transaction. You see, they…

 

No Dad, I DON’T know how many TD’s Peyton’s on pace for. And I don’t care. Because all these numbers you keep talking about? Do you know what they’re from? A CHILDREN’S GAME.

 

Jesus Dad, what do I have to do to get your attention? Do you realize I’m a powerful executive, with a big office and my own private secretary and everything? And that every day I make decisions that affect thousands of people and millions of dollars? Don’t you think that’s WAY more important than calling “audibles” and identifying who the “Mark” linebacker is?

 

Okay Dad, “Mike” linebacker, whatever. You know what? Never mind. Just put Mom on. I’ll see you at Thanksgiving. What? No, I DON’T CARE WHO’S PLAYING.

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