Colts Honor Peyton Manning Before Game With Free Drink That Smells Suspiciously of Roofies

"C'mon Peyton, Drink Up," Says Jim Irsay During Pre-Game Ceremony

Updated: October 20, 2013

INDIANAPOLIS – In an emotional ceremony preceding their Sunday night game, the Indianapolis Colts honored former QB Peyton Manning by presenting him with a complimentary stadium beer that, according to sources, smelled suspiciously of the powerful sedative Rohypnol, more commonly known as “roofies.”



“We are here to pay tribute to one of the greatest players in Colts history,” said team president Jim Irsay from a stage at midfield where he was joined by Manning shortly before kickoff. “Peyton, all of us here in this stadium treasure the memory of your time in Indianapolis. And as we prepare to watch your 6-0 Broncos take on our Colts in a game that, frankly, we desperately need to win if we’re going to keep our hopes alive for a first round playoff bye, we’d like to present you with this small token of our esteem: a 16 ounce cup of icy-cold Bud Light for you to enjoy before taking the field.”


Added Irsay: “C’mon drink up. You’re gonna want to finish all of that in order to get the full effect. Of, you know, our esteem.”


Manning, 37, played for the Colts from 1998-2011, leading the franchise to eleven playoff berths and a victory in Super Bowl XLI. Now in his second season with Denver, Manning is having one of his finest seasons to date, and his Broncos are seen as virtually unbeatable by many observers.


“Peyton, I wish you and your team the best of luck in tonight’s game,” concluded Irsay as he took the empty cup back from Manning and shook the slightly dizzy signal-caller’s hand. “And if, in the next 10-15 minutes or so, you happen to find yourself feeling woozy from all the love and gratitude in this stadium, don’t be afraid to stretch out for a nap. There’s a nice, cozy cot set up on the visitors sideline just for you.”

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  1. Anonymous

    October 22, 2013 at 7:14 am

    Del Rio is trying to make it easier on the fans when he leaves for USC

  2. Anonymous

    October 21, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    I”M SO TIRED OF OUR PASS DEFENSE SUCKING BALLS!!!!!! Those guys are going to cost Peyton a chance to winning another superbowl. yes they did a little better this game but it wasn’t even close enough. How in the hell to they suck so bad when they have Peyton Manning giving them a good look in practice. JACK DE RIO YOUR ASS is in the hot Seat!!!!

  3. AnonS

    October 21, 2013 at 7:38 am

    Peyton thought it was a playoff game, and, well, you know what happens to Peyton when he thinks it’s a big game.

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  5. Anonymous

    October 20, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    Ifhss you are so right. I saw a lot of retarded penalties

  6. IFHSS

    October 20, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    Ugh IMO the broncos lost that game all by themselves. Stupid mistakes like that roughing the passer.. WHY THE F WOULD HE DO THAT! among other things…. they gave the game away. Sure the Colts started out great but in the end denver had it and gave it away…

  7. Seth

    October 20, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    The way this game is going so far, I’m guessing this is somewhat true lol

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