Buffalo Bills Celebrate 15th Straight Year Without A Playoff Loss
ORCHARD PARK, NY – With a jubilant popping of champagne and a rousing chorus of cheers, dozens of players, coaches, and employees of the Buffalo Bills marked the conclusion of the 2014 NFL season by celebrating their franchise’s milestone achievement of fifteen straight years and counting without a single playoff loss, inebriated sources close to the team’s front office confirmed today.
“They said it couldn’t be done, folks,” said team CEO Russ Brandon, while raising a glass to toast his staff. “They said in today’s day and age, with all the high draft picks and free agent movement, that no team could go this long between playoff defeats. But we refused to listen to what ‘they’ said, and we haven’t lost a single playoff contest in a decade and a half now. That’s a streak that won’t be ending anytime soon, if I have anything to say about it! Huzzah!”
The Bills remarkable run of non-postseason losses extends back to 1999, and spans seven head coaches, six general managers, one ownership change, and far too many starting quarterbacks to count.
“An achievement like this really reflects the character of the Buffalo Bills organization,” said G.M. Doug Whaley. “You look at a team like the New England Patriots, who have suffered no less than eight playoff losses since 1999, and you realize, ‘Wow, that could have been us.’ Believe it or not, there was a time during the early 1990s when the Bills actually lost postseason games in four straight seasons. Thank goodness those dark days are over.”
In a related story, the entire staffs of both the Cleveland Browns and the Detroit Lions reportedly spent the day Monday celebrating their shared NFL record of 49 straight seasons without a single Super Bowl defeat.