Browns Fire New Head Coach After Sixteen Hours On Job

“It’s Simply Time For A New Direction” Says Cleveland G.M.

Updated: January 24, 2014

CLEVELAND – Claiming that the organization needed, “a fresh new approach,” the Cleveland Browns today announced the firing of Mike Pettine, the former defensive coordinator of the Buffalo Bills whom the team hired as their new head coach sixteen hours prior to his termination.

Pettine departs Cleveland with a lifetime record of 0-0, good enough to make his tenure one of the most successful periods during the past several decades of Browns football.

Pettine departs Cleveland with a lifetime record of 0-0, good enough to make his tenure one of the most successful periods during the past several decades of Browns football.


“At this time, the Browns franchise has chosen to part ways with Mike Pettine,” said team G.M. Michael Lombardi. “We thank Mike for everything that he’s done during his nearly full-day stay with our team, and we wish him well in all his future endeavors. Unfortunately, we just didn’t see the hour-to-hour improvement that we were looking for.”


“I’m saddened to leave the team under these circumstances, but I understand that this is a business decision,” said Pettine, placing his personal office effects into the same white cardboard box from which he’d unpacked them the previous afternoon. “This is a ‘what-have-you-done-for-me-lately’ league, and the bottom line is that we didn’t get the job done here. I thank the Browns for the opportunity they gave me. There’s a lot of great guys on this roster, or so I’ve heard, and I’m sure I’d miss them terribly if I’d had the chance to meet any of them before my termination.”


Added Pettine: “Can someone show me where the front door is again?”


Lombardi told reporters that a search for a new Browns head coach would begin “immediately,” and will be conducted “with all the efficiency and professionalism that fans have come to expect from our proud organization.”


While Lombardi declined to name candidates on the team’s short list for the newly vacated position, sources close to the Browns revealed that possible successors to Pettine include Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, Seahawks defensive coordinator Dan Quinn, the currently unemployed Rob Chudzinski, and Broncos offensive coordinator Alan Gase.

Leave a Reply


  1. Janet Lingel Aldrich

    February 28, 2014 at 8:18 am

    Love this site … “The Onion” of the Pro Football world … wonder if they do this for Hockey?

  2. Kevin

    February 25, 2014 at 4:09 am

    Hey Darth Belichick. How about u come down to the Muni Lot one Sunday afternoon and say that dumb shit to one of our die-hard, loyal, bleeds orange kinda guys faces. Someone like me. U little pussy. Real easy to sit ur fat ass on the computer and run ur cocksucker. Everyones a tough guy till u get punched in the face. And if u had the balls it would take to do it which I KNOW U DONT, I guarantee it would happen. Good times, lol. But again, I GUARANFUCKINGTEE u wont. Cause your a PUSSY !!! So keep that shit to yourself, this is my home, boy.

    But on a ligher note, lol. The Browns have some very promising young players. We had the leading reciever last year, we lead the league in pass attempts, our defense through 12 games was ranked 3rd overall. I mean there’s several key roles that are very secure. If we can just get a damn quarterback. Maybe Hoyer is the answer, maybe he isn’t. The only thing that matters right now is the draft. I guess we’ll see. Until then. GO BROWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Anonymous

    February 3, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    BrownsFan4Lyf shut up u ass

  4. Anonymous

    January 30, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    Browns suck

  5. govtminion

    January 30, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    The name of the site is you tell me if this is real or not.

    …Though to be fair, with the Browns these days I guess this one IS plausible.

  6. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 29, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    So … Is this article real or was it just a joke? I’m sure if anybody got fired it would show on Not unless the SuperBowl is too important for any other news.

  7. Ben Roethlisberger

    January 28, 2014 at 7:06 am


  8. Scott E. Entsminger

    January 28, 2014 at 7:02 am

    And once more the Browns have let me down.

  9. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 27, 2014 at 9:53 am

    @ColorWerx the front office is a joke! (you should read all my comments)

  10. richie ray

    January 27, 2014 at 9:48 am


  11. Joe

    January 27, 2014 at 8:47 am


  12. dc

    January 27, 2014 at 7:25 am

    Why’d they hire that guy from Pawn Stars anyway? He’s already busy running the shop.

  13. ColorWerx

    January 27, 2014 at 6:53 am

    BrownsFan4Lyf – honestly now…do you REALLY think this is a legitimate article? You actually can’t see that this is a joke?

  14. nik

    January 27, 2014 at 2:11 am

    relax everyone….. didn’t you see that they found a homeless cat named brownie and made it the new head coach….. it’s all good now…. we’re saved

  15. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 26, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    It’s time to fire the three stooges guys! I’m embarrassed right now to be a Browns fan. The rest of the league doesn’t even care that the Browns just fired the “new” head coach. I wish they would at least mention it on ESPN. Stupid mainstream media!

  16. BrownsBacker43

    January 26, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    I’d like to say this surprises me but it doesn’t. Just another embarrassing move by the three stooges.

  17. fred

    January 26, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    Can wait to see the broncos win the superbowl…and burn the seahawks feathers…paaahaaa Seahawks are just trash

  18. Anonymous

    January 26, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    The people who believe the people pretending to believe this is a real article are the ones who crack me up.

  19. Anonymous

    January 26, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Very funny but fake no real new article on it

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  21. Anonymous

    January 26, 2014 at 9:01 am

    It’s on the internet it must be true people are so gullable .

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  24. SickoftheBS

    January 26, 2014 at 7:27 am

    I don’t know which is worse. The guy that wrote this article or the people that believe the article.

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  30. Disillusioned Browns Fan

    January 26, 2014 at 1:18 am

    The Browns should just bribe the officials like the Steelers do !!

  31. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 25, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    To save the Browns, let’s do unto them what they were willing to do so quickly! Let’s fire them all as easily as they do their coaches! If 16 hours was enough, years is way overdue!

  32. Pam Hopkins

    January 25, 2014 at 8:49 pm


  33. Kelly

    January 25, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    Ha ha ha,good one. Sadly it’s believable because well its the Browns. Its getting harder to be a Brown’s fan. This joke is very close to what the Brown’s fan expect.

  34. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 25, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    Browns fans … Please post this article on your Facebook and Browns blogs and message boards. Browns fans don’t even know that this thing went down, there’s nothing on it on ESPN and, maybe they’re waiting to release it after the Pro Bowl. It’s time Browns fans realize how much of a joke the team has become because of upper management!

  35. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 25, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    What does North Korea have to do with Cleveland? To the rest of America, the Browns may be a joke, but to us Browns fans we stick to the team no matter what. It’s management that has let us down, it always has. And now firing this man is just the latest string of disappointments and embarrassments to this team.

  36. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    This is akin to an “onion” headline. I can’t believe some Browns fans believe this satire. North Korea Kim sexiest man alive ! Lol reminds me of

  37. Jeff Hayhurst

    January 25, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Im embarrassed that Browns fans are dumb enough to think this is true…Pull your heads out of your asses people!!

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  39. Dan Corbin

    January 25, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    They deserve McDaniels (oh and maybe they can still get Tebow and Josh for the same price!)

  40. Troy

    January 25, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    Ok my whole life I have been a Browns fan however I am sick and tired of this ignorance. Grow up, get a team together and stop acting like you know what you’re doing either. It seems you folks need more than just the head couches job filled.

  41. Brian Hoyer

    January 25, 2014 at 11:23 am

    @Brandon Weeden…that was the funniest comment in this thread, I’m still laughing!

  42. Tr

    January 25, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Are you people serious?? Read the title of this site!! I really hope Browns fans aren’t thinking this is true…

  43. Steve

    January 25, 2014 at 10:39 am

    Haslem should fire upper management. Its obvious they are the problem, know decent coach will work for them!!

  44. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 25, 2014 at 10:06 am

    Why are all you guys laughing? This poor man just lost his job after being hired a day?! Have you guys no decency? Is this all some kind of a JOKE?

  45. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Best way to fix this browns fans – get a new favorite team !!!!

  46. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 9:45 am

    This isn’t funny. Mostly because there’s a 2% chance of it being true.

  47. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 9:25 am

    Clevekand will always be s loser go steelers

  48. go browns

    January 25, 2014 at 9:18 am

    The whole issue with the browns is playing together.a team that stays together plays together and and wins ,you need to learn to play together and a coach needs more than a year to get that from his team.

  49. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 9:07 am

    This is a hateful way to conduct business!…..and not fair to the coach you employ under false intentions!!!……Someone needs to clean house in the front office, I hope coaches think twice and three times before they think of applying for the Browns Coaching Job!

  50. ProudPapa58

    January 25, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Haslam and co. are making Cleveland into a joke.

  51. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 8:42 am

    The I Q of those who believe this is a true story matches the current temperature in Cleveland.

    Great joke!!! Thanks for a good laugh…

  52. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 8:24 am


  53. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 8:19 am

    unreal – we will get the last laugh some day!

  54. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 8:15 am

    I’m a browns fan and it dissapoints me our fans are so dumb they believe this. It’s It is funny though

  55. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 25, 2014 at 7:37 am

    Wait … so is this article real or fake? I’m so confused! I still don’t see anything on and it’s been a day! Did the NFL make this firing quiet to make the Browns not look bad?

  56. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 7:34 am

    Only in Cleveland. But now I am a MiamI Dolphins fan and we know how good their management team is.

  57. OverUnder

    January 25, 2014 at 7:21 am

    Dammit!!! We didn’t even give this guy a chance!

  58. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 7:20 am

    This A Joke Rite ..???

  59. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 7:18 am

    Well, there is always next ‘week’.

  60. DowntownPoundforPoundClevelandBrown

    January 25, 2014 at 7:02 am

    People actually think this is real?! LOL

  61. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 6:50 am

    F*cking Factory of Sadness.

  62. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 6:22 am

    They were dumb to get rid of Trent best running back they had for a while now they fired the new head coach what the hellvare they doing over there i’ve been a Browns fan forever now if the GM doesn’t do something fast i’m boycottoning them then going to get everyone else to do to (DO SOMETHING)

  63. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 6:11 am

    That should be Adam Gase, not Alan.

  64. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 6:07 am

    Just get chud back into his position and find a QB that knows his dang job

  65. Rich Nutt

    January 25, 2014 at 5:41 am

    That’s why they can’t win!!!! They have someone for a short time and don’t give them any time to to anything!!!!!!!! They want a change like in a second!!!!!!!!

  66. Anonymous

    January 25, 2014 at 5:39 am

    The name of the site is people…..
    It’s a satirical site calm down, although this is completely plausible for the browns it’s probably not all that true. Bwahahahahahaha

  67. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    I think its time I pick a new team born and raised a browns fan but really……

  68. NativeAmericanapolis Dean

    January 24, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    Absolutely the most funny thing I’ve heard/read in the last 20 years! My wife read a Facebook thread of this to me and almost had me convinced it was real after she fell for it. This is 10000% classic and I hope Saturday night live picks up on your great “article”. I am still laughing hours later just thinking about this article. Kudos to your incredible humor guys! LOL

  69. Titus

    January 24, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    The only thing you missed is the $16 million severance package: a mil per hour.

  70. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 9:38 pm

    All of you idiots making fun of the browns can cram it.

  71. Twitter

    January 24, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    Is this a move to hire his daughter as a pr exec and avoid family drama in the workplace? GENIUS!

  72. Bones

    January 24, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    I doubt this is real but if it is good luck finding another coach.

  73. Jimbo14

    January 24, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Ha! The three stooges at it again!

  74. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    @Ravensfranzy-Good job Captain Obvious!

  75. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    Wow, the level of stupidity exhibited in the comments section is just astounding!!!

  76. Stevie-O

    January 24, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    This can’t be serious.

  77. Darth Belichick

    January 24, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    This double trolling is deception worthy of the Sith. Master Anonymous, I have returned.

  78. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 24, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    Have you ever considered that some of these angry Browns fans were just trolling and playing dumb pretending that they think it’s a real article?

  79. People are just dumb all over

    January 24, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    Really? Some of you people that left angry comments are that stupid to think this was a real article? OMG get out of my country you dumbasses.

  80. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    The fact of the matter is…the COACH isn’t the problem…it’s the players lol….they need to get over themselves it’s not like they will ever be in the playoffs.

  81. Browns Fan Regardless

    January 24, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    Dear people, this is called satire. It is fake, like The Onion is fake news. Look at the web address for goodness sake. Sheesh

  82. jim stottsberry

    January 24, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    Just hope they don’t add cheerleaders,can you Imagine what they would look like if Haslam and crew picked them!!!

  83. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    I can say this is hilarious. I have been a Browns fan for 20 plus years. And Since Haslem took over. I said that if they don’t change things in the win column. I am leaving. Goodbye Cleveland, and hello Cincinnati. At least they know how to build a team.

  84. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    That awkward moment when you actually believe the Browns fired their new head coach after only 16 hours on the job.

  85. jimbo

    January 24, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    Browns fan since I was a kid…..this is a joke everyone……but funny because its something that cleveland would do….. our time is coming…….maybe this coming season, or 20 from now…..but damn it, it cant rain all the time!!!!! Lets go Browns

  86. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 24, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    Maybe they can hire Tressel! Or Josh McDaniels! But I hope they evaluate him after a whole season or two. A day is too short! And still nothing on!

  87. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 6:41 pm


  88. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    I wish this was real and they would hire tresses!

  89. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 24, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    The whole franchise is a damn joke! And firing the coach less than a day makes me so angry! What’s worse, the national media didn’t even cover this disgrace! Everybody is talking about Richard Sherman, nobody’s talking about this firing!

  90. TNT

    January 24, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    For real people, its called its a damn joke……..

  91. you weenie

    January 24, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Know why Browns fans think this is real? Cuz it’s not out of the realm of possibility. Life long Steeler fan here, and what has become of the Browns is just plain sad. Still, this mock story is still funny!

  92. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 24, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    @Anonymous – I feel ya bud it’s pretty unreal – hiring a coach then firing him less than a day after. Still nothing on or ESPN on this. I guess nobody cares about Ohio unless it’s an election year.

  93. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    Think maybe you should have waited for season to start.didnt even give him a chance..

  94. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 24, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    @Anonymous I feel ya bud. It’s pretty unreal – first we hire a coach, then we kick him right out. He didn’t even last a day. Still nothing on NFL Network or ESPN on this. I guess Ohio is only important when there’s an election year, then nobody cares about us until 4 years later again.

  95. Terri S Rush

    January 24, 2014 at 5:38 pm


  96. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    This is not real duhhhh

  97. BrownsFan4Lyf

    January 24, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    I dunno man, it’s only on this site that I see the news here. Nothing on ESPN or NFL Network, I guess nobody really cares about the Browns that the major US outlets would report this in the news. But seriously, this team management is such a JOKE! I sometimes question my intelligence in being a Browns fan …

  98. DawgPound

    January 24, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    Lombardi is officially a moron. I’m done with these clowns.

  99. Allen Murphy

    January 24, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    The Browns just keep making the head coaching position less and less attractive, first firing Chud after a year and now this gentleman after less than a day. I’ve been a Browns fan for 27 years and it gets tough sometimes. But I know we’ll find the right guy. Go Browns!

  100. Darth Belichick

    January 24, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Wow, things have gotten so low at Cleveland that their fans can’t differentiate the real thing vs a joke. Guess this is what happens when they’ve been watching the NFL ‘a biggest joke for the past 20 years posing as the real thing. Wow are Browns fans utterly stupid.

  101. Gail Lengyel Foster

    January 24, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Why? I don’t watch or follow the Browns but this is even funny to me! NO ONE cares anymore anyway!!!

  102. BrownsFan83

    January 24, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    How can the Browns expect to compete when they keep firing the head coach? This is a new low!

  103. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    OK people, be honest OK? What did you say when Cleveland traded Trent? This has an obvious result that no one expected, see? I remember hearing that Cleveland does not even have a running back. Then there was starting Hoyer over all of the other quarterbacks, what a stupid move we said right? Now aren’t we having this same argument about the head coach spot? I think the real problem is the fans have no one to keep in check a Cleveland Brown fan, when we have been proving wrong with our criticism. Please stop with the three stooges talk, it is really lame. I think you people will run this football team out of Cleveland all together, then what? Just saying, God bless.

  104. Scott R. Graber

    January 24, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    hour to hour improvement? how does one show hour to hour improvement OVER NIGHT?

    the Cleveland Browns? this is not the Cleveland Browns this is a farce and joke.

    cancel the Stadium upgrade, too. tell these people to get out of town.

  105. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Ray Farmer must be thinking why he just turned down the Miami GM job to come back to this mess.

  106. Bernie Kozar

    January 24, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    Lol, seems about right!

  107. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Well just wait till “next” year. Go Clowns!

  108. John Zauner

    January 24, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    This will be on the next episode of “Under Cover Boss”

  109. john

    January 24, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    This will be on the next episode of “Under Cover Boss”

  110. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Good choice ! Now get us a winning coach in here ! Go Browns !

  111. Ben Roethlisberger

    January 24, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    I’m going to lock that 19 year old daughter of his in a bathroom!

  112. Joey Wolowitz

    January 24, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Haslam had to buy out his contract for $147 million.

  113. Marshawn Lynch

    January 24, 2014 at 12:08 pm


  114. Cygnia

    January 24, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    The sad thing is, this could still be completely plausible for Cleveland…

  115. Richard Sherman

    January 24, 2014 at 9:45 am



    January 24, 2014 at 9:35 am

    funny stuff.


    January 24, 2014 at 9:31 am

    Comment intercepted.

  118. Grumble!

    January 24, 2014 at 8:39 am

    I’m buying some heated ski golves!

  119. Ben Roethlisberger

    January 24, 2014 at 7:48 am


  120. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 7:21 am

    The only way this could have been funnier is if Ben had left a comment in the tags like the Percy Harvin piece.

  121. ravensfranzy

    January 24, 2014 at 7:19 am

    You see it’s because Browns fire their head coaches too quickly

  122. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 5:08 am

    I was wondering the same thing.

  123. Anonymous

    January 24, 2014 at 2:16 am

    What is with those links?

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