BATTLE OF THE BOARDS: STEELERS-VIKINGS

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Updated: September 26, 2013

GO STEELERS!

GO VIKINGS!

MANGLE MINNESOTA!

PUMMEL PITTSURGH!

BIG GAME IN LONDON!

KIND OF WEIRD HUH? NEITHER OF US IS THE HOME TEAM.

I THINK WE SHOULD BE THE HOME TEAM

BASED ON WHAT?

WE HAVE A CERTAIN INTERNATIONAL FLAIR ABOUT US

YOU REALLY DON'T

WE EVEN HAVE A PLAYER NICKNAMED AFTER A BRITISH LANDMARK

I KNOW. “BIG BEN” ROETHLISBERGER.

I WAS THINKING MORE OF TROY “LONDON BRIDGE” POLAMALU

THAT’S NOT HIS NICKNAME

PLUS WE HAVE ANTONIO “HYDE PARK” BROWN

NOT HIS NICKNAME EITHER

HEATH “BUCKINGHAM PALACE” MILLER

JUST STOP IT

EMMANUEL “WESTMINSTER ABBEY” SANDERS

THAT’S ENOUGH

WAIT ONE MORE

FINE

MIKE “THAT ONE DARK ALLEY WHERE JACK THE RIPPER CHOPPED UP A BUNCH OF PROSTITUTES” TOMLIN

LOOK, IF ANYONE IS THE HOME TEAM IN THIS GAME, IT’S US

BECAUSE?

HELLO? “VIKINGS?”

SO?

THE VIKINGS WERE FROM ENGLAND, WEREN’T THEY?

NO, THE VIKINGS WERE FROM NORWAY

I THOUGHT THE GLADIATORS CAME FROM NORWAY

NO, THE GLADIATORS WERE FROM ROME

YOU’RE THINKING OF THE SAMURAI. THEY WERE FROM ROME.

WRONG. JAPAN.

BUT I THOUGHT JAPAN WAS WHERE THE SPARTANS CAME FROM

THAT’S GREECE

AZTECS?

MEXICO

MOUNTIES?

CANADA

HOBBITS?

MIDDLE EARTH

MORK?

ORK

FRENCH TOAST?

FRANCE

WELL IN ANY CASE, WE HAVE TO WIN THIS GAME

UH, WE’RE 0-3 AND DESPERATELY NEED TO WIN

WE’RE ALSO 0-3 AND ARE JUST AS DESPERATE TO WIN AS YOU

YES BUT UNLIKE YOU, WE ACTUALLY HAVE PLAYOFF ASPIRATIONS

UM, UNLIKE YOU WERE WE ACTUALLY IN THE PLAYOFFS LAST YEAR

UM, UNLIKE YOU, WE’RE ACTUALLY WON A SUPER BOWL BEFORE. SIX, IN FACT.

SEE, THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED THE HOME TEAM

WHY?

BECAUSE YOU’RE WHAT EUROPEANS LIKE TO CALL, “UGLY AMERICANS”

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One Comment

  1. IFHSS

    September 26, 2013 at 9:50 am

    nope…. don’t like…

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