Bill Belichick: “Miley Cyrus was SO AWESOME at the VMA’s!”
‘Sup, fools? You guys see the VMA’s on Sunday? That was one kickass show, am I right? I was totally happy because One Direction got Best Song of the Summer (See, Bill Parcells? I told you!), and Selena Gomez won for Best Pop Video. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis got the trophy for Best Hip-Hop video, which was kind of a bummer because I was rooting for A$AP Rocky. At least it wasn’t Drake though, ’cause that would have sucked.
But c’mon. We all know the real highlight of the evening was Miley Cyrus singing “We Can’t Stop,” and then doing a medley of “Blurred Lines” and “Give it 2 You” with Robin Thicke, 2 Chainz and Kendrick Lamar. Goddamn, she was SOOOOOOOOO AWESOME up there. I was watching it from the Patriots’ film room, and once she hit the stage and started all jamming and shit, I just jumped outta my chair and yelled “Yeah girl! You shake that thing and show all the haters what’s up! Whoop-whoop!”
Did you see that banging Teddy Bear onesie she was rocking? Then later she ripped that shit off so that she was just wearing a gold bikini, and started grinding all up in Robin Thicke’s junk? And he was all “Damn, what did I get myself into here, yo?” But the best part was when they cut to that shot of Will and Jaden Smith, looking all shocked in the crowd. You could just tell they were thinking , “Holy crap, is that Hanna Montana gettin’ all freaky with Dr. Jason Seaver’s kid?”
I love how everyone’s been all pissed off since the show, calling her a tramp and shit. Don’t you listen to any of ’em Miley. They just jealous ’cause you got a sexy voice and the most slammin’ bod EVAH. So fuck all them bitches who can’t handle your shit, ’cause me and the rest of your Official Fan Club know what’s up. I got nothing but mad props for you, girl. Belichick OUT.