Bill Belichick Answers “We’re On To Buffalo This Week” To Every Question During Routine Medical Exam

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Updated: October 7, 2014

Grumpy New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick

BOSTON – During his routine physical checkup by his primary physician earlier today, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick refused to answer any of his doctor’s basic medical questions directly, instead replying, “We’re on to Buffalo this week,” in an aggravated monotone time and time again.

 

According to just-released transcripts from witnesses on the scene, Belichick’s conversation with the general practitioner went as follows:

 

“Good to see you again, Bill. I saw your football team won this past Sunday night. That must have been fun for you, eh?”

“We’re on to Buffalo this week.”

“Oh, yes, your team plays against the Bills this week, don’t they? Well, good luck with that. Anyway, how have you been feeling overall?”

“We’re on to Buffalo this week.”

“Yes, so you said. Again, good luck. But anyway, how are your energy levels? Do you feel sluggish or easily fatigued?”

“We’re on to Buffalo this week.”

“Right, we’ve established that. But now I’m interested in hearing about your general health situation. Have you been getting enough exerc…

“We’re on to Buffalo this week.”

 

According to the transcript, the exchange between the 62-year old coach and the Harvard-educated medical specialist grew more tense over time.

 

“For Christ’s sake Bill, this is just basic medical info. Why are you being so evasive?’

“We’re on to Buffalo this week.”

“I don’t care! Have you been experiencing any nausea or dizziness lately?”

“We’re on to Buffalo this week.”

“I KNOW! BELIEVE ME, I AM WELL AWARE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO UPSTATE NEW YORK THIS WEEKEND! NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DOES IT BURN WHEN YOU PEE OR NOT?”

“Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. We’re on to Buffalo this week. That’s all there is to it.”

“ARGHHHH.”

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2 Comments

  1. Bill Belichick

    October 11, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    Grumble! Grumble! Grumble!

  2. Guy Who Whispers "Penis"

    October 8, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    *whispers* penis

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