Bartender Concerned Johnny Manziel’s “Football” Lifestyle Interfering With His Party Commitments
"We only see him three or four night a week lately," complains local mixologist
CLEVELAND – Randy “The Randster” Calloway, a late-shift bartender at Cleveland’s The Empty Glass Saloon, has grown increasingly concerned that the “football” habits of Jonathan Manziel, one of his most dependable customers over the past several months, may be interfering with his party obligations within the popular tavern, according to area sources.
“I’ve spoken to Johnny and let him know in no uncertain terms that his recent behavior is unacceptable,” said Calloway, while mopping up a congealed pool of vomit near the bar’s karaoke stage. “Lately, there have been several photos popping up in the media of Johnny wearing shoulder pads, a helmet, and throwing what appears to be a leather foot-ball with other guys wearing similar equipment. Clearly, he’s engaging in some sort of extra-curricular football lifestyle, and if he’s not careful, it’s really going to interfere with his development as one of our top party animals.”
Added Calloway: “I mean, last week he was over half an hour late for our regular Wednesday night two-for-one Jello shots promotion. I just don’t know where his priorities lie anymore.”
According to other patrons of the tavern, Manziel’s reputation as a participant in athletic events was well known at the time of his acceptance to the bar’s social scene.
“We knew Johnny had a reputation for occasionally engaging in these football activities when he first joined our pub,” said Harvey Burnett, one of The Empty Glass’s regulars. “He’s young, he’s fit, and he has a right to go out and enjoy himself by playing sports when he’s not at our bar. But if those activities start getting in the way of his commitments here at the bar, as they have been recently, that’s when we have a problem. He didn’t even bother to show up for our Saturday night “Drunken Games” competition this past weekend. If he keeps that kind of behavior up, we won’t be calling him Johnny Fooz-ball” much longer.
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