Baltimore Orioles: “Guess What Ravens? The Weather’s Beautiful Here In Baltimore”

Updated: September 5, 2013

Hey Ravens. We couldn’t help but notice that your game against the Denver Broncos seems to be delayed. Apparently, there’s “heavy wind, scattered lightning, and a continuous downpour?” Wow, what a bummer. Here in Baltimore, on the other hand, the weather is currently a balmy 76 degrees, with beautiful clear skies.


Gee, it’s too bad you’re not playing here tonight, huh?


We’re just saying, the weather here seems like it would be perfect for a football game. With barely any wind, Joe Flacco’s passes would sail nice and straight and true. But gosh, all that wind and rain that we see in Denver right now looks like it would be really hard to complete passes in. We don’t even know how you’re going to field punts. That’s the kind of thing that, while it would be extremely simple here in sunny Maryland, will probably be darn near impossible where you are, huh?


Gosh, we sure hope your game against the Broncos doesn’t come down to a last second field goal. Because if victory depends on Justin Tucker kicking the ball through that howling, swirling wind and through the uprights, we’re afraid that you’re just going to lose.


Anyway, have fun in your game tonight. Try to ignore the freezing precipitation that will be chilling you to the bone for the next three hours. We would watch the game, but you know what? The weather outside just seems so pretty, we think we’ll head out for a nice long walk around the block. In shorts and flip flops.

Leave a Reply


  1. Anonymous

    September 28, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Bet the Orioles aren’t laughing now because they’re out of the playoff race

  2. Dominic

    September 18, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    Haha this is funny NOW because he missed two against the Browns. I was there. It was painful.

  3. Anonymous

    September 7, 2013 at 5:34 am

    lol ^buzzkills the both of you

  4. Anonymous

    September 6, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    When has Justin Tucker been known to miss field goals? Story was funny till you mentioned him and lost credibility.

  5. Anonymous

    September 6, 2013 at 10:26 am

    “Try to ignore the freezing precipitation that will be chilling you to the bone for the next three hours.”

    It was 95 in Denver at kickoff. It was a warm rain…

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