Hey, does anyone remember back in February when I wrote that I...
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Joe Namath, Suzy Kolber Celebrate Ten Years Of Wedded Bliss
Former New York Jets QB Joe Namath and ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber celebrated their tenth year of wedded bliss this past Saturday evening with a lavish anniversary party at their Westchester NY estate, during which the couple lovingly renewed their vows to one another, it was reported earlier today.
“Thank you all for sharing this special occasion with us,” the radiant Kolber, dressed in the same Vera Wang gown she wore on the couple’s wedding day in 2003, told the invited guests. “As you all probably remember, this wonderful man came into my life on the sidelines of a Patriots-Jets game a decade ago. And when I started asking him the usual boring questions about the New York offense, he ignored them and told me that he wanted to kiss me instead. I fell madly in love that day, and I’ve been his Broadway Gal ever since.”
“That was the day that changed my life,” recalled the smiling Namath. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but the truth is that I’d downed a couple of drinks before that interview. You know, to work up the courage I needed to approach this beautiful lady. Fortunately for me, I can hold my liquor pretty well, and no one was the wiser. She said yes, and the rest is history.”
Namath and Kolber, nicknamed “America’s Sporting Sweethearts” ever since their nationally televised meet-cute, concluded the evening by addressing their guests from the same spot where they had renewed their vows just hours before.
“Let’s bring this whole thing back to where it all started,” the mischievous Namath said, while holding a glass of his favorite bourbon. “Suzy, I don’t want to talk about the Jets or the Patriots, or anything to do with football. I just want to kiss you.”
“Well then, plant those gorgeous man-lips of yours right here big boy,” replied Mrs. Namath, at which point she pulled the Super Bowl MVP into a passionate kiss that lasted nearly two full minutes and consisted of more grunting and groping than many guests were comfortable with.
- Report: Millions Of NFL Draft Viewers Still Have That Annoying “I’m The Man” Song Stuck In Their Heads
- ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Seahawks Fans Won’t Shut Up About Their Five Super Bowl Victories
- ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Skins’ Albert Haynesworth Wins Yet Another Defensive MVP
- ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Saints Fans Still Blame Super Bowl Loss On Botched Onside Kick