Aaron Rodgers Schedules Date At Same Time As Playoff Game, Will Run Back And Forth, ‘Jack Tripper’ Style
Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers, whose team plays the Minnesota Vikings in a divisional round playoff game Saturday evening at Lambeau Field, also has a date scheduled with “Hot Molly” McGillicutty at the same time, and will attempt to run back and forth between the two engagements, “Jack Tripper” style.
I can’t believe the NFL put our game on Saturday night, at the same time as my date with Hot Molly,” lamented Rodgers. “Luckily, my friend Larry came up with this great idea: whenever our team goes on defense, I can run back to the restaurant and sit with her for a few minutes. When it’s time for us to go back on offense, I’ll excuse myself to use the bathroom, then run back to the stadium. What could possibly go wrong?”
Due to the implausibility of the plan, Rodger’s platonic friend Janet and his other platonic but much hotter friend Chrissy suggested he simply confess the truth to Ms. Magillicutty, and attempt to reschedule the date for another time, but Rodgers rejected the idea.
“I’ve been trying to get a date with Hot Molly for weeks now,” Rodgers said from Packers practice on Tuesday. “I can’t cancel on her now. She’ll never give me the time of day again. And trust me, you do NOT want to miss a chance to go out with Hot Molly. She’s so easy that even a caveman could do her, if you know what I mean. Ha-cha-cha!”