Upcoming Quarterback TV Cameos

Updated: May 7, 2013


Packers QB Aaron Rodgers will reportedly make a cameo appearance in the May 9th episode of NBC’s “The Office.” Meanwhile, several other NFL quarterbacks have lined up their own guest starring roles for various television series:


    • JOE FLACCO: While visiting “Sesame Street” to see his cousin Bert, Flacco teaches Cookie Monster a new song: “C is for ‘Contractual Guarantee of $52 Million, That’s Good Enough For Me.
    • ROBERT GRIFFIN III: On the next season of “American Horror Story,” the role of “Grotesquely disfigured abomination” will be played by Griffin’s right knee.
    • BEN ROETHLISBERGER: Ben’s role in “How I Met Your Mother” will begin with the voiceover, “Kids, in the spring of 2013, your Aunt Robin had to fight off a slow-witted lummox who tried to molest her in the bathroom at MacLaren’s bar.”
    • JAY CUTLER: Cutler guest stars on “True Blood” as Broodius, a powerful, three thousand-year old vampire who blazes a trail of destruction and terror throughout the land while draining the lifeblood of all those who dare oppose him. Cutler is perfect for this role because he fucking sucks.
    • GENO SMITH/MARK SANCHEZ: The two Jets quarterbacks appear in “The Next Big Thing,” and “The Walking Dead,” respectively.
    • TIM TEBOW: Tebow will appear during the fall on the hit series, “NBC’s Sunday Night Football,” playing the role of “Guy who has to buy ticket to get into game.”
    • TOM BRADY/MATT SCHAUB: Brady eagerly agrees to bed Matt Schaub’s wife, professional cheerleader Laurie Schaub, on the ABC reality series “Celebrity Wife Swap.” Controversy erupts however, when Giselle Bündchen refuses to reciprocate by declaring that she will not go anywhere near the aesthetically challenged Houston QB. Spoiler alert: Brady eventually beds both women simultaneously while Schaub weeps quietly in another room.
    • TONY ROMO: “The Biggest Loser.” Natch.
    • PEYTON MANNING: Manning will appear in the year’s final episode of the BET comedy “The Game.” True to his nature, Manning will conclude The Game’s season finale by throwing an interception.
    • ELI MANNING: On the next episode of “Mad Men,” Manning will play Don Draper’s younger sibling, Dale Whitman who, despite not being nearly as talented as his older brother, will somehow lead a rival ad agency to far greater success.
    • MATT RYAN: Ryan will be a guest contestant on the next season of “Survivor,” where, despite having all the tools he needs to succeed, he will find himself being sent home without making it to the final round.
    • ANDREW LUCK: Luck will guest star on “Two and A Half Men,” where he will sympathize with Ashton Kutcher on the challenge of replacing a high-priced star who’s not nearly as “winning” as he’s made out to be.
    • AARON RODGERS: Rodgers’ next cameo will be on the CBS reality series “Undercover Boss,” where the QB will be unaware that the 363,491 new co-workers he’s forced to train are actually Green Bay Packers shareholders.
    • MICHAEL VICK: Vick will take part in the upcoming “COPS’ NFL all-star edition” with fellow guests O.J. Simpson, Plaxico Burress, and Ryan Leaf.
    • RUSSELL WILSON: Wilson guest stars on HBO’s “Game of Thrones” as Peter Dinklage’s long-lost twin, Puny-um Lannister. Together, they win a close battle by catapulting a stuffed pig’s bladder over a great distance to be received by a close ally, after the sphere miraculously passes through a wall of enemies (much to the chagrin of Lord Cheezely of Packerton).
    • DREW BREES: Brees visits MTV’s “Snooki and Jwoww,” where the two Jersey girls show the New Orleans QB their own version of “The Big Easy.”
    • COLIN KAEPERNICK: Kaepernick will appear in “Breaking Bad” as a young meth dealer who’s about to complete the biggest score of his career, but is then thwarted when the authorities fail to notice that one of his rivals is holding.

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